unwilling~

haiz...is almost time for me to leave hauz again...
i m going back to kl on this sat...
hmm....feeling so bu she de...

time for me to start packing my uni stuff again...
so wish i could just ponteng all my classes and stay at hauz until cny ends...
but i noe the situation wont let...
i m so damn lazy to pack la...

suddenly think dao i have to be all on my own again after this few days...
so sien leh...
need to think off what to eat everyday..
have to wash my clothes myself...
clean up my room myself...
bath with damn cold d water..
gosh!!!
i wonder how long i gonna spend again to suit myself to this type of life...

anyway...dun talk sad things some more...
hmm...darr darr is having his final exam this few days...
he was so busy to study...
hmm...so i m kinda boring...
just spend all my time on9 and watching tv...
lol...seem like i m going to watch the tv til burst as i cant c tv anymore when i m back to uni...
haha...

darr darr is coming back on 30th dec...
hope to meet him during 31st dec...the last day i m in ktn before i start my new semester...
^^
i miss him!!!

x'mas 2010

ok...how i celebrate my x'mas this year??

x'mas eve...
cause every fren is so busy n my hauz dont have the tradition to celebrate...
darr darr is also at kampar ady..
so i just stay at hauz...
hanging fon and countdown with darr darr...
wad an experience...

then 25th dec...the x'mas day...
early in the morning i woke and go for dinner with f6 frenz...
having a chatting session dere...

then during evening...
at hauz do 'guai ling go' cause order from dad...
he say wan take give my relative which having wedding 2day...

during night time...
went out again with idiot gang...
go to tea time again for dinner cause shi ling love that place so much...
make dao us also addicted to the pearl tea there...
then went to yong qian hauz for sing k session...
too bad there was not many song to choose..
we all din sing much...
just chang yi alone enjoying...
seem like he is opening his mini concert there...
lolxx...

thats call a day for me...
this is how i past my x'mas for 2010!!

holiday trip

here..i m announcing...
i m back in ktn from my trip...

well...many things to say about...
1stly...a damn rush and tiring trip for me this time...
cause not able to stay long at any of the place everytime i reached...

14th dec...i went to kl and stay a night at uncle hauz...
then 15th dec...
start journey back to my grandma hauz at kedah...
hmm...cant celebrate darr darr birthday with him...
just can replace it by talking over fon with him..
reached grandma hauz about 11.30pm...
16th dec...early in the morning get our way to hatyai...
shopping this time...
2days 1 night trip just gone like this..

17th dec...reached grandma hauz at 5.30pm...
cause the kastam there so damn stuck with many ppl...
so we are late...
after bath rush to relative wedding dinner...
until midnight...
wow...imagine...my eye lid keep dropping during the dinner...

18th dec...went to another relative hauz again as they are having wedding dinner on the following days...
finally this day i can be relax abit without rushing to here and there...
19th dec...cousin wedding...
from morning until midnight our time were spend for her...
so let call it a day...

20th dec...left my grandma hauz and head to swiss garden resort at lumut,perak...
stay a night over there...hmm...
the place is so nice...too bad i din take dao any picture as i dont have the mood to do so...
21th dec...went to pulau pangkor to have a round...
well...it was not as wad i think about...
obviously...i like pulau redang more...
haha...
then around evening..start journey back to kl...

22nd and 23rd...spend my day at uncle hauz n shopping in the mall...
hmm...so 24th..i m back in ktn...n relaxing in hauz...

this was the whole journey during my trip...
somehow it is quite fun...but really damn tiring...

p/s: darr darr complaint to me that i have only very few time to pui him ny during my trip...
ya...i admit that...
sorry ya darr darr...cause i din really accompany dao u since my trip is so pack...
especially the two days when i m in hatyai...
darr darr dun angry k?^^
love u...

outing with yipo n sk~

2day went for breakfast session with yipo n sk...
go for 3 colour geh min fan gou there...
cause yipo say she din eat before...

chat alot with them during eating session...
then we went to tc to continue our unfinished stories...
haha...
and ate a sundae cone there too...
damn long no eat liao...
even i m at kl with plenty of mcd besides me...
cause every day no chance and no time to eat...
then sk had to become driver again ady...
so we cal it the end of our gathering...

anyway...both of them r going back to uni during 18th dec..
and i m not around during dat time...
so....c u all ya during next semester break...
miss ya!!!

anyway...
2ml is 14th ady...
n i m leaving ktn for kl duirng 2ml afternoon...
lol...then i m following uncle to kedah on the following day...
m going to stay around 1 week plus at there o...
i m not bringing my laptop o...
cause grandma hauz there no internet...
so...again my blog will be updated again when i m back....
hmm...perhaps a blog with pictures...
*if i got mood to take ya!!!**

hehe....
so...tata everyone for one week...
i will be back soon after i m in ktn!!!
and for those fren who are starting their semester next week...
c u all during cny holidays ya!!!!
and happy new semester...
love ya!!~^^

ecm again~lolx

enjoyed my day today...
cause i had my outing with darr darr...
hehe...

finally after the time we hang out during my exam study week...
now we can go out again...
hmm...darr darr is back at ktn for 1 week...
too bad i m going of outstation this coming tuesday...
luckily today i can spare one day with him...

we went to ecm...
hmm...this is the place i keep on hanging out since i come back ktn...
lol...cant do wad cause ktn really dun have much place to go...
haha...
but i went with diff ppl la...

we went for rapunzel for movie today...
i wanted to watch for so long since it is on the cinema...
cause it seem so nice...
n yet it really did...
this movie although a bit childish...
it is a damn nice movie...
so damn funny...
laugh till my stomach also pain ady...
really got a thinking to go watch again...

and today 1st time go sing k with darr darr...
erm...wad i mean is only me and him...
cause last time we went is with a whole bunch of frenz...
but we only sing for 1 hour nia...
seem not very enuf...
some how we r rushing our time for movie...
lol...

but today i very sui lo...
cause i promised darr to give him his birthday preset today...
i forgotten!!!
aiyo...i really so big prawn head la...
some more need wait till darr remind me bout it then i only realised...
haiyo...
sorry ya!!! promised to give him next time before i go outstation...
this time i must remember it ady!!!

hope i can go out with him again before i start my new semester...
wishing**

result revealed

well...my 1st semester result was out ady...

at first i thinking of dun want to go check for it so fast wan...
then my fren keep persua-ing me...
so there i go...
went to the official site to check...

i was kinda nervous u know....
really sked i will fail any of the subject..

sumore duno y upm suddenly change the web..
so cant log in...

finally get inside...
click to c....
feel of relief from me...
luckily it wasnt too bad...

however it is still lower from my expectation...
i expected to be first class...
but it just second upper nia...
luckily it din seem to be very far from it...

maybe after everyone c this wil think that i m over confident or even very 'chuan'...
i will have this such high expectation because it is only my 1st sem...
suppose to b the easiest sem to study...
hmm...it seem that i still need to be more n more hardworking for my coming sem...
so that i wont be left out so far from others...

anyway...
dun wan to talk bout the result liao...
this few day keep raining nia...
make till me want go out also so mafan...
hmm...hope weather will be btr for the coming days...
cause i seriously wanna go out for gai gai liao...
dun spoil my mood please...

darr is coming back tomolo...
wuhu...cant wait to see him n go out with him!!!
miss him~

till then...

he is coming back!!!

ady been boring two days at house liao...
lol...
because i damn lazy to go out n i m kinda busy at house...

anyway..dad is going outstation tomolo...
left 4 of us at house...
hmm...
wondering i m going to become driver for this coming week i think...

hmm...few more days darr say he is coming back to ktn liao...
so happy leh cause i can see him again...
but this year again very bad...
cause i cant celebrate his birthday with him...
i m going back to grandma hauz at kedah again...
there got two wedding dinner waiting for me...
so...very cham...
for two years straight i cant celebrate with him cause the same reason leh...
hmm...so bad hor me this gf...

hope next year wont be like this ady...

aiyo...cant wait to go out with darr darr before i left ktn on next week o...
hehe...

bad ppl!!

not i a good mood again...
not because anyone make me...

just that darr darr is unhappy...
so i feel so sad also...
undeniable...he will affect my mood nowadays...
hmm...cause i dun wish to c him lidat...

he is so important to me...
any single thing of him also important to me...
i cant let him be in a bad mood...
i wan him to be happy always...

really not understand all his coursemate...
duno y they so sui wan...
all irresponsible!!!
whr can just push all the things to him want...
u all are in a group...
groupwork is meant for everyone in the group...
not just him alone to finish it!!!

haiz....damn hate this type ppl wan la!!!!
make dao darr darr now so stress...
till he say he cant come back ktn liao...

i noe he wish so much to come back ktn by nxt week...
cause he say a lot about dat everytime when on fon with me...

hmmm.....all this sui ppl....
i hate u all!!!!
if u all aint going to help then i will help him...\
inhuman geh ppl!!!
hng!!!

2/12/10

hmm...recently nothing much to write here besides updating my life at my hometown...

today went for steamboat and sing k with my form6 gang...
lol...really damn long din meet them liao...
happy gathering today...

n n n....
went for sing k....
which i miss it so damn long...
almost half year i din go into any k box leh...
sing dao so suang today...

more and more fren are coming back now...
wuhu....
here is getting more and more noisy liao...
compared to just few of us here...

gathering gathering...
lol...

know wad?
today really damn full lo me...
lunch time go for steamboat then just back nia jiu go out again for dinner...
dad's fren treating us for dinner...
ordered damn much food again...
c dao me also full liao...
din eat much just now...
aduih...
i dunwan come back nia jiu add many fat liao...

p/s: fren...i m waiting for u...

movie day

ady 1 week passed since my semester break started..
time flies...
can you dun pass so fast...i miss staying at home...
i dun wan to go back...

yesterday went to ecm with frenz...
really din meet them for long time...
hmm...then i went for movie with chui teng...

harry potter 7 part 1...
indeed it was a nice movie...
somehow it was too long...
i think is about 2 and half hour...
i sit till backbone also pain liao la...
however...
it was so damn nice that it really so detail..
every single scene was so real...
i got some feeling like watching scary movie...haha...
worth it to see actually..
hmm...i think the second part will be longer...lol..
waiting for it...

i m thinking to go for a hair cut...
but when c dao the sun i suddenly feel so damn lazy..
aiyo...

still waiting other fren to be back...
i wanna go sing k...
i miss it!!!

27/11/10

i seem to be lazy and lazier to post something at here since i m back at home...
cause there was just nothing can be written...

recently...
my mood aint too good and aint too bad...
but it flung greatly...

cause i cant show my sadness to my family...
not hoping them to worry about me...
i must try to be independent...
cause mum and dad got many things more to worry about...

i m ady 20...
no longer a small child...
although they will still c me as their lovely girl...
i hope i can take care of myself and even take care of them too...

hmm...
recently just go yc with sl,ty and kq...
suddenly i feel that...
hmm...everyone change..even myself...
especially we are in different places...
the things that we see..listen...and feel are so so so not same...
it makes us seem that we are more further apart...

anyway...this two days quite boring..
cause many frenz still not here...
waiting for them to come back now...
miss u all ya!!!

1st day at ktn

hmm...back to hauz ady 1 day liao...
2day is a very boring day...
cause i just stay at hauz din go anywhr else...

many of my fren were not at ktn yet..
so i dun have anywhr to hang out...
tink i gonna fat mou at hauz for few more days lu...

anyway..
all my stuff are being put aside after i came back...
i m so lazy to unpack all of them although i m so free!!
wow...

i m gonna start my movie and drama days after this i think...
if not i sure sien die...

food at hauz is always the best...
so delicious n without ajinomoto..
i enjoy eating them so much!!!

hmm...gonna find program liao...
till then...

freedom for me!!

finally i left my college...
left my uni...
to start my semester break..haha...
so happy...

i m now still at kl...
staying in uncle hauz since saturday...
parents just come over yesterday night...
so i m leaving to the place i miss so much later...
wuhu...

kuantan...
i m coming back for you!!!
i gonna hang out all over you during my break...
i miss alot of food there...
time to gain weight again...
SHIT!!!

m going to stay at kuantan until early jan...
hope can meet everyone i miss...

btw...in the middle of dec i might away to go to kedah...
for wedding dinner...
there is two somemore..
wondering what m i going to wear...
now gotta start to think liao...
fan!!

this two day at uncle hauz...
finally i eat dao proper chinese food rather than the food i ate in cafe...
they were so so so much delicious that ever...
haha...

upm....
dun let me think you in this break...
m going to c u next semester...
tata...

end of Y1S1

seriously...
i m done with my first semester ady...
hmm...dun talk about the paper i had...

but now i m superb happy cause i m leaving uni in few hours time...
not that i hate here so much...
just dun feel like staying here ady even just for 1 hour more...
cause it is so suffering staying alone here...
whole bunch of housework that i usually din do in home i had to do it here...
i wanna relax...
i miss my bed...
and my doggie--niko!!!
i din see him for like..hmm...since the day i enter here...
so sad...

considered finished packing with all my stuff...
just a little bit touch up wen uncle gonna come fetch me...
now just relaxing and online...
try to used up the available credit hours for my internet...
lolxx..i was just joking..

curiously...i dun have a little bit of feeling to get a nap now even i cant sleep well ytd nite...
know wad...
i only managed to get myself into deep sleep at 3am i guess...
really sot liao...
luckily today i still can get up for my exam without having headache...

lata fren are going to have a party session...
being able to join them a little while before i move my ass out of uni...
thx for them that purposely switch the time of the party just to suit me before i goes off...
seriously gonna miss them in this holiday cause not able to meet them...

kuantan...i m coming back to you soon!!!

food poison day T.T

holy shit!!!
whole day having my stomach uncomfortable and keep going to toilet..
i think i m food poisoned ady..

but too bad i duno wad that make til me like this...
very kesian wan lo...
cause i need to run all the way to toilet from my room...
it was darn far lo u know?

a bad day for me cause cant even study!!!
i think i gonna present away my 40 mark for physics paper...
cause just back to room from toilet then go again!!

too bad is today the whole uni like a died city lidat...
nothing open...even my cafe and our medical centre...
cant even get medication...
luckily the koperasi is still open and i can get some 100plus...
stand on myself lo...
who ask i m on my own here...

hmm..roomates all home ady...
lefting me alone in the room to suffer for 3 more days...
waiting exam on the 20th...
uncle is coming over to fetch me to his house on the 20th also...
wuhu...

faster reach la 20th...
u know how many ppl are hoping for your arrival mar?
cause 20th is the end for my first semester...
yeah!!

16/11/2010-jogoya

well...i m still now left one more last paper for my final...
it is physics!!!
but aint i m studying for it during this few day...
in-progressing at all...
cause my study mood is all out since the day i finished my chemistry paper...

now holiday mood is switching on inside me...
whole day staying in my room just stick myself to the computer...
letting myself so relaxing...
haha...

is all the fault of uni to not put all my paper in a row...
so i can finish it earlier and back to my house or even dun let myself regret for not studying after i sat for the physics exam...
right?
they should have think beyond us...

i was crapping all over...
lolxx...

anyway...
2day spend my whole day walking outside instead sitting and sticking to my computer...
went for jogoya with my coursemate...
cause there was a promotion for ladies where 50% discount is given...
so it was superb cheap and thus we went...

hmm...there is quite a number of different style food to be choose...
but we just cant help to stuck all of them in our stomach...
cause we were damn full ady...
some of the food are delicious...
the most i prefer is the little steamboat..
i wish to eat it again now...

then went for a short walk in sungai wang...
but i wad also din buy dao...
cause really no shopping mood without my mum beside me...

overall..today d journey is quite safe and smooth...
cause we din spend much time waiting for the ktm and monorail...

so it was the last outing together with my coursemates for this semester i think...
too bad eva cant join us cause of sickness she had...
gonna miss them during my semester break...
lolxx...

but i m going out with another batch of best friends in my hometown when i back...
cause i miss them very long ady since we started our uni life...
sure gonna hang out with them!!
wait for me!!!

year 1 semester 1

is such a lovely sunday today..
cause i dunid to wake early for any activities...
wuhu...

anyway..
today is the last sunday i m writing my blog in upm for this semester...
cause my home sweet home dy waiting me to be back on next week...
haha...
i m so happy...
back to a place i noe since i was born...
all of my friends ady waiting for me at there liao...
wanna go hang out with them...

conclusion for this semester...
hmm...
overall it go on quite well...
but maybe i m still new in uni...
so at first i got some weird feeling to be here alone...
the ways for studying is totally different when i m in secondary school...
so i think i gonna suit myself faster...

besides the studying..
my life here was totally different also...
need to make new friends all over again and learn how to live with roomates that ii duno them before...
good to say...everything went well actually...
just maybe we r still new to each other...
so sometime just make me feel like i m alone...
i still need time to make myself use to this things...
cause it was very different with how my friends at hometown usually treat me!!

anyway...
next semester maybe i gonna move out from this hostel...
going back to the hostel i suppose to be...
but really hope this wont happen cause i ady use to my life at here...
i dont want to seperate with my roomates..
they are so good...

hmm...
not gonna say so much ady...
cause most of the story i ady post it up earlier on...
this is just a overall feeling for me for year 1 semester 1 in upm...
god bless me...
next semester will be a better semester...

一个人

宅女。。。
刚才我的朋友这样叫我。。。
哈哈。。

突然发觉最近的我真的很宅。。。
就连吃饭时间都是打包打包打包！！
甚至懒惰踏出房门一步。。
到底发生了什么事？

我变得自闭了吗？
我想与世隔绝吗？

其实都不是吧。。
只是很不想离开我的房间。。
外面很热。。太阳很晒。。。
而且吃东西的地方还有猫。。。
我不能接受。。。

虽然时常一个人对着电脑吃饭。。。
看上去有些孤单。。。
但我却不如此觉得。。。

一个人时让我想很多事情。。。
一个人时让我了解更多我自己。。。

以前的我从来都不曾自己单独做任何事。。。
 我觉得一个人好像很可怜。。。
但现在不会了。。。
其实当全世界只剩你一个时。。。
自己一个也没什么大不了。。。

我依然可以很正常的生活。。。
我还是能微笑。。。
而且是真心的微笑。。。

我厌倦了在面对不同的人要给予不同的表情。。。
甚至有时做我不是很想做的事情。。。

坦白说。。。
这些假假的表情。。
从我上中六开始已经很少有了。。。
因为从那时我已经明白。。。
我不是为了别人而活的。。。
我不再需要做他人的影子。。。
我可以把自己的角色演绎出来。。。


所以现在开始。。
我要努力过好自己的生活。。
这样才对得起每一个爱我的人。。。

闷闷的心情

又开始下雨了。。
心情好闷哦！！
是不是每次心情不好时就会酱应景？？

我觉得我做错选择了。。
好像不应该把心里所想告诉他吧。。。
其实当时想要说出来只是为了让彼此了解原来有酱的东西存在。。。
但却让他感到压力了。。

我有点后悔。。
我不是想要求他什么。。
因为我知道我也有责任。。。

但我觉得好失败。。。
不但目的没达到。。
反而还害了他。。。
搞到大家现在都不开心。。。

是不是我太自私了？
一直是单方面在想问题。。
从来没顾过他的感受。。。

我真的不想这样了。。。
两个人在一起不是甜甜蜜蜜。。
而是热脸贴冷屁股。。。
真的很伤心。。。
好几次都让我觉得很难呼吸。。。
就连昨晚也是这样。。
只是上几次他都在我身旁。。。
昨晚只有我自己在房间里。。。
真的很辛苦。。。

对不起。。。
我不够称职！！

ki siao liao @.@

first paper finally gao dim...
hmm..nothing much to say...
but the uni really wan us die lidat...
all ppl come out also say duno got wad can write...

hey man..come on la...
suddenly change the format really suck liao lo...
still come out this type ques...
mou ngan tai la  me...

anyway...
over jiu over ady...
i din feel sad bout it!!!
cause i wat it end faster...
countdown countdown countdown!!! till my semester break start...

gambateh everyone!!!
4 more papers to go...
and 12 more days to be here!!! yeah^^

omg!

oh gosh!!! just now i wanted to post something here...
but due to the network prob...
the whole long post is gone!!!!
hate la...

haiz...
bo mood liao...
dun want to type back liao...
next time ny update my feeling la...

anyway...
gambateh o everyone!!!
exam countdiwn-ing...
25 hours more to go...
jia you!!^^

伤害

太久没在这里写上我的心情了。。

其实有时真的不想吃醋。。

也不是想想太多。。。

只是真的让我面对时。。

真的不由得我来说。。

已经强逼自己尽量不去听。。

但还是不断徘徊在我脑海里。。。

我真的不应该那么小气。。。

因为从以前这一切的想法都是我说出来的。。。

是我说过的。。

‘只要你知道我爱你就可以了，难道你要我的生活里只有你吗？你不能让我去参我的朋友吗？’

当时的我说的那么轻松。。那么的肯定。。。

完全否定了他的感受。。。

现在让我亲身体验时。。才知道当时的他是怎样的辛苦在做到的。。

甚至有时他做不到时，我还说他为什么酱的。。。

原来是我自己不明白当中的痛苦。。。

有时真的在想。。我以前是否太过分了。。

我很自私。。从来只有想到我要怎样。。

他的感受都没顾虑。。他是怎样熬过来的？

想说对不起。。但我觉得也没用了。。。

因为已经造成了伤害。。虽然他现在没事。。

可是发生过的事终究发生了。。。

被伤害过的永远都会留下疤痕。。。

我真的应该好好补偿他。。。

一切一切我对他造成的伤害。。。

也许现在算是我的报应。。 

之前他所承受的。。。

我想我现在也应该体验一下。。

再像他一样。。

学习如何在这一切难受中好起来。。。

shit lecturer!!

nowadays it is like so difficult to let me log in to my blog la...
the line is so suck till everytime when i got feel to post something here also cant...

not to say that disappointing matter...
well...now i m still in my study week...
my final exam is just around the corner now...
roughly about 5 more days...

wonder how i gonna suffer for this time geh exam...
all the format change into essay type rather than previous geh objective type...
i was like wanna die liao when i studying...
too long din study those like sejarah type things and some more this time need to be in essay format...
duno wad i will write out on that day...

really big pressure la!!!

1 more serious i found out is that my stupid kenegaraan lecturer...
i really hate him la...
he gave my assignment mark so damn low leh!!
19 out of 30...
when i check it out i was like OMG!!!!
how can he did like this...
he purposely want us die izit?
other lecturers gave their mark so kind...
lowest also will get 25 and above if out of 30...
dun understand y he so cruel want!!!

really choose dao the wrong lecturer liao...
next year gonna ask my junior dun choose dao him...
if not sure die straight straight!!!!

me really give him gek dao liao lo!!!
haiz...so disappointed...
my kenegaraan this time duno want how die tim...

wish me luck ba everyone!!!

study week coming~

no class for today...
haiz...supposed i can start my study week from today want...
but the stupid pertanian lecturer make us to present during tomorrow...
yish!!! really dun like la...
tot can ponteng for tml want...
hate hate!!!

hmm...wad should i do today?
study?
i also duno should start study from wad 1st although i ady started with some previously..
i just flip to whr i want study geh...
start from 2ml cannot liao...
must very concentrate dy!!!

i m not going home for this study week...
cause at home many distraction for me...
i sure cannot study dao want...
so i must tahan for this few week more...
then i will be back in my home sweet home^^

now the exam is confirmed at 8th ady...
so mean i can be away from here by 20th...
haha..think dao also very shuang!!!

k then...

boring cause nothing do

hmm..finally gao dim my this semester geh last assignment--PRT2008!!!
i m officially free from assignment ady...
congratz myself...

today din go for clas..
stay inside the room whole day liao...
actually went class also duno for wad...
lecturer ady teach finish wad they suppose to teach...
just like wasting our time going out to do revision ourselves...

now wad should i do?
assignment finished...
noo homework...
but i m kinda lazy to touch the book now?
can i get the permission to rest for 1 night?
hehe...

exam is coming soon actually...
but till now i still cant confirm the date..
just now at fb saw 1 fren say the date no change...
although notice come out liao la...
duno whr she get the news?
who i should believe now??

4 more study days to go....
gambateh everyone!!!
we are going to end our first semester soon^^

i love you..mum n dad!!

long time ago din update my blog with those got feel d post liao...
hmm..maybe recently i m not emo at all...
or maybe i had found a place for me to voice it out indeed of posting it here...

actually...hmm...
some i did tell someone...but some it indeed just kept inside my heart only...
cause when the time i want to tel out everytime i dun have the chance...

yesterday went for a program at nilai..
this is the final project for my koko...
we need to make an kem motivasi for all the form 1 and 2 kids at the secondary school...

this is the first time i be fasilitator for such camp...
it was fun actually...
watching them just like those small kids and we r like sis watching them out...
haha..seem that we r kinda old liao right?

until one of the session whr really need to motivate them...
a story about parents is spoke out by the mc...
wa...it was really touching lo...
all the kids just cried out..even for guys...

when i m listening the story...
my tears gonna rolled down soon...
but i m controlling it...
really...
parents is still the one very important to me actually...
whenever anything happen to them...i will feel so sad..
their hardworking to exchange for our good life indeed should not be forgotten...
i had so many things to tell them actually...
but sometime i just cant open mouth...
maybe this is chinese's style...
we just cant let our self to say out 'i love you' to our parents...
because we too care about our face...
nothing is good lidat...
unlike those westerners...
they say it out every seconds they wanna to say...

i think it time for us to change ba...
say 'i love you' loudly to ur parents before it is too late!!!

20102010

yesterday indeed a special day...
2010-2010...
duno how long ny got 1 date as that...
i m so lazy to count...

a special should have a special event going on right?
too bad...dun have!!!

hmm...
a usual study day for me nia...
wake up so damn early in the morning to go for class....
then go for printing...
then go back room to sleep...

at night...
went for the celebration dinner for yinzi...
hmm..have it at janbo restaurant near south city plaza...
the food there was not bad...
maybe just because too long i din eat dao so 'chinese' d cooking ba...haha...
overally it was a fun dinner...
as all of us just like one big family...
having fun and noise together...
not to 4get...
my table yesterday is the most geng want at game session...
we were the champion...
although we kept bising at there say no fair cause all the song they played for games were olddies!!!!
wakaka....

anyway...
yesterday a special day for me to wish something...
i din wished much...
just hope that can back home faster cause i miss my family...
and hope darr darr will owiz be with me^^

one more thing to add on!!!
today i get a bad news!!!
my exam on the 8th nov is postponed to 22nd nov...
i was so sad...
cause this mean that i need to go back home more late!!!
yer..hate leh!!!
i rather to faster finish it...
sobbsss....

a walk in pasar malam

yesterday..
the 1st night i got the chance to go pasar malam snce i came upm..
1st experience cause i owiz got class till 8pm during mon...
n the pasar malam is only on that day..
so no choice lo...
wait till yesterday ny go lo..

hmm..the pasar malam here is so damn diff with the pasar malam at ktn...
cause here mostly d stalls also sell food wan...
not like ktn..half sell food half sell groceries..

so yesterday most of my journey in pasar malam was carrying food...
cause c dao so many things that i very long no eat liao want...

anyway..try some new things at there also...
1st is the china hamburger...
it was quite nice in some of the flavour...
i like the want with taiwanese sausage...
is so delicious...

then ate fried mushroom also...
hmm...i dun like it cause they put too much flour liao...
asam laksa was ok also...

then we walk on and buy some of the snacks lo...

lastly...my fren say wan try 'chao dao fu'...
wa...listen dao me also sked leh...
know wad...the taste is really very geng lo wen v r near the stall...
seem like we went to a rubbish dump lidat...
then i was paksa by my fren to eat sum...
1st time eat..and it will be the last time i eat also...
cause the taste really like eating rubbish...
i omoz vomitted...
sori la...cause i duno 'xin shang'...
haha...

then bought 'dao fu fa tong yuen' as supper...
it was damn nice...
but i really very full...
so i din finish it...
hehe...

hope to go again next time...

my 1st birthday in upm~

14/10/10...
is my 20th birthday...

1st time i m not celebrating it in my house...
not with my family or best frenzz....
cause i m currently now in upm...
really a not same birthday for me...

yesterday night...
i was inside my room busying copying the physic assignment question to bring over to eva room to discuss...
then i planned go to toilet before i go to their room...
once i get out from my room...
i saw bobo...
feel so pelik cause she suddenly seem so curious whr i go which she usually won do that...
but i just din think dao anything...

i told whr i want go then she say she and wishe also...
she say go together..
then i say ok..but i want go toilet 1st..wait her at staircase...

then we went to eva's room...
wen we open the door...
hmm...
wonder y so dark...
there is no one inside the room...
suddenly....birthday song was sang!!!!

hmm...yuan lai they ady bought a cake to celebrate me and wishe geh birthday earlier...
i was so surprise....
tot that no one will celebrate for me this year...
how know....

really feel so surprise la...
although not wad big celebration...
but is the 1st time i celebrate with them...
need to thanx them so much for arranging this celebration for me...

and many other that wished me happy birthday on fb and fon...
thanx ya...although we were seperated now, u all din 4get my birthday...
love u all so much...

hmm...know wad...i click like and reply those wishes also click dao me hand tired...
haha...but i m very happy to do so...
cause is all come from u all geh heart to wish me...
i appreciate it^^

sushi king bonanza

just come back from sushi king bonanza...
we went the mines d sushi king...
hmm...i was so damn full now...
i ate about 11 sushi leh....
shared with eva want...

hmm...the mines there d sushi dun have many choices la actually...
many i want to eat wan din c they prepared...
but luckily i eat dao the most also quite delicious la...
just the rice duno y very loose...
once take up nia jiu all not in shape liao...

anyway...yesterday i have my pendaftaran kursus for the next semester...
managed to daftar all the subject and time that i wanted...
luckily...
wa...know what??
early in the morning the faculty is ady like a war place liao...
everyone is grabbing the chance to be the earliest want to register their subject...

hmm...it was a smooth process...
but then my next semester...
mostly i got class at 8am...
hmm...i think i have to train myself to slee earlier and wake up early liao...
sob sob...
too bad...
but the time is lidat...
let me pratice 1st la...
hehe...

days with darr darr

meet up with my darr darr during the last weekend is such a great time...
i really so damn miss him leh...
finally i c dao him on that weekend..
he purposely come down to kl just to celebrate my birthday earlier as my birthday is on the study day...

darr darr become thinner liao leh...
so sam tong c dao him lidat...
he also say me thin liao but i din noticed la..
i say he think too mch..
haha...

both of us spent two days togehter so happily leh...
feel so sweet...

on saturday night...
we go for steamboat..
cause darr darr say he long time din eat liao...
hmm..dat night i take so many things give him eat leh...
wan make him fatter...
haha...
i very sui leh..
but he guy mar...eat how many also no prob ler....
hehe...
and we ate so many ice cream also...
especially dere got darr darr's favourite durian ice cream leh...

then the next day we went to sunway pyramid...
shopping the whole day leh...
till both of us d leg also pain liao leh...
haha...
bought t-shirt for darr darr as wad i owe him very long liao want...
then buy some snacks and bread nia...
although din buy dao many things...
the time i spend with him really so happy leh...

around 5 sumtinz we started to go back liao...
but i make dao darr darr not managed to get on his bus back to kampar leh...
so sad...
luckily there is another want later...

hmm..so not she de he go back leh...
miss him so much...
wish to meet him again soon...
i think it will be my study leave during our next meeting...
hehe..
hoping for it^^

food fair dinner

well done to all senior n junior of food tech faculty that involved in the dinner yesterday night!!!
it was a success..
say yeah!!

hmm...one more study week had ended...
today i got pertanian exam...
noe wad...i just spend 10 minutes to finish d question nia...
think i m so geng right???
nope!!!u r wrong...cause i m too tired to continue doing it...
just finish it in advance so that i can go earlier...

2ml finally is the day...
hehe...darr darr is coming kl to find me...
so happy leh...
hmm....i think tonight i sure cant sleep liao...
hehe...wanna meet him so much...
cause i miss him very very much!!!
i din c him for 1 month liao leh...
2ml faster come a!!!

btw...my test two officially ended...
now left over for me is the HE presentation and pertanian Assignment...
gambateh..i noe i can do it wan...
hmm...

k la...
till then...

irresponsible ppl!!!

yiu..the line here rili so suck la...
i cant open my facebook...
duno wad happen...
luckily still can let me come here to fa xie...

hmm..2day just got 2 hours class...
1 hour had finished and 1 more hour is later...
now me still thinking wether to go or not....
cause just go out for 1 hour so damn sien leh...

so fast ady wednesday liao...
now countdown-ing to weekend still left only 3 days...
hmm...feel so excited..cause can c my darr darr liao...
the fon he using i think had run out of battery...
so i contact bu dao him...
miss him so much...

something to comment...
recently duno wad happen to our kolej...
even with fan of speed 5 and the window closed up...
there still can be mosquito biting me!!!
hate la...
few night ady leh...
make me cant sleep well...

some more 2day morning heard my friends say that their room got cockroach tim...
yuckksss....
rili duno those ppl how want...
really wan make dao everyone like living inside the rubbish dump meh???
cant keep their place clean wan wor...
gek sam!!!

anyway...
2ml upm food fair starts....
everyone is welcome to visit us o....
btw...2ml there is a dinner for the launching of food fair...
i m the ajk protocol inside dining hall..
hmm..so 2ml whole day gonna be busy inside the place from morning till night o...
all the best to everyone that is together with me preparing this dinner o...
wish everything will go on smoothly!!!^^

mid valley outings

hmm..one more week had passed ady...
today...as usual is a sunday..
but i a more lovely sunday cause i m not abonden to test and assignment...
hooray!!!
so me and my frenz went to midvalley for shopping...

early morning we dy go...
until we reached mid valley...
wishe ny realised that her purse had dissapeared...
find all the way also dun have...
then bobo accompanied her back to serdang geh ktm station to find...
too bad they still cant find...
so they went back uni after that without joining us...
haiz...too bad they cant join us..this is the 1st time 5 of us can went out together leh...
really angry that ppl that took wishe's purse la!!!

hmm...again left 3 of us...
we went to nando's for our lunch...
so many ppl leh...
but the food there was so nice...
we were licking our hand...haha...joking...

then went for shopping...
this time we were no rushed...
so we slow slow shop...
hmm...so damn many ppl at there leh...
so packed...
managed to buy something la at least...
lol...

back time the ktm was also very packed...
i m like a sardine inside there...
haha...
finally safely back dao uni also la...

hope to go out again o!!!^^
and must be 5 of us!!

"总有一些人，他们看上去整天都很开心，嘻嘻哈哈的，没有烦恼，像个小孩，他们会说玩是我最大的乐趣，我很喜欢玩，我什么都会玩人多的时候他们脸上总挂着笑 容，好多人都会羡慕他们，然而这其实是他们最悲哀的地方，他们不想让别人看到自己难过的一面，更没有能力一个人独处，因为当夜深人静的时候，他不知道一个 人会发生什么事，坐在窗前冥想走过的点滴

没有人读的懂他们，想着想着貌似快乐的他们就会黯然流下一脸的悲伤，然后自己对自己说：其实也没什么，命运吧！所以他们就整天逼自己笑，以此来逃避那些常人所不能不承受的痛苦！

他们貌似很坚强，因为在别人看来，他们什么事都能微笑着去面对，但事实上他们长着世界上最脆弱的心灵，只是长期的伪装使得别人很难发现他们内心深处的创伤。 他们其实非常孤独，虽然看到他们时都是在跟一群人谈天说地，那是因为他们实在不能承受一个人时的折磨！

他们只想简简单单、快快乐乐的活着，期待并且相信每个人给的笑容都是真心的，希望身边的人都是真正的喜欢自己。即使别人小小的意见，也会另他们难过好久， 他们真的真的很介意，介意自己不被人喜欢。因为，他们总是为别人想的很多，对别人总是比对自己好；把能对喜欢的人好当做幸福，喜欢别人比喜欢自己多。

他们总是那样，前一秒还伤心的流着泪，后一秒出现在朋友面前的时候，已经满脸溢着灿烂的笑容。有人说他们是向日葵，是的，他们在意的人就像是太阳，在面对太阳的时候永远是明艳的花瓣，而太阳照不到的背面，那悲伤藏得那么好，不愿被看见。

他们向往放纵自由的生活，却必须为了谁很努力的朝另外的一个方向活着，很累很累，却仍是心甘情愿。离自己的梦境越来越来远，不得不面对从未想过的争夺和复 杂，恐慌、不知所措。只有面对最信赖的人时，才会卸下盔甲，委屈的流下眼泪。因为在他们心里，笑就是开心，哭就是难过，接近就是喜欢，远离就是讨厌。但其 实不是，他们明白了，心好伤，眼泪就没忍住。哭过之后，笑笑得擦干眼泪，说，没关系，我可以做的很好的。

他们好像无所不能，好像总是不会有烦恼，好像什么问题都能轻而易举的解决，总是喜欢喜欢出现在流泪的人面前，笑嘻嘻的逗着笑。而面对自己的问题，他们却茫然无措，面对自己的悲伤，他们只会躲在人们看不见的角落里慢慢由伤口越裂越大。

他们的想法非常简单，说出来的就是心里所想的，肚子里不会拐七道八道的小弯，无心的话可能会引起别人的误解。所以，请别记恨他们，他们从不愿伤害谁，小小的错误就能让他们懊悔很久。

他们其实非常单纯，甚至你曾经给了他一个微笑他也会一辈子记得你的好，因此他们的世界观其实也很简单，他们很容易受蛊惑 ，请不要轻易的伤害他们的感情，因为一旦伤害了，那就将永远弥补不回来！ 如果你身边有这种人请你给予他（她）那怕是凤毛麟角的那点关怀，让他（她）知道这个世界没有抛弃他们"

saw this article online...
when i read it...i feel that it sound so alike as me...
i m this kind of ppl actually...

that why sometime i sked to be alone during midnight...
i hope someone to accompany me..to protect me...
and now..there is this someone...
i hope he can always protect me^^

good news

i really like the feeling of blogging so much..
is a place to let me voice out all my unhappiness....
and now is the time i say bout some happy things....

today i have a long chat with darr darr...
i really miss him so much neh...
3 days liao...i din even can msg with him or how..
totally run out of his news...
but now...i finally managed to talk good good with him...
and i noe we can chat 4 a longer time if not his hp going to run out of battery...

talk so much with him...
feel so happy...
cause the understanding for both of us have become even more...
i love this feeling so much...

anyway...now i so much hoping...
hoping for next week to come faster!!^^

finally i get to hear his voice...
but....

maybe i just think too good in a path that nothing gonna went wrong after this..
i failed myself again..
i will never b doing the right thing...
i just hurt the one i love...

suppose it to be a happy day as i finally can contact dao him...
i hope for too much..
now d me totally moodless..
cause i add on the moodiness on him...
i was just trying to help...
maybe i just din use the right way...
i wonder wad hapened??

sorry...
but i really love you so much...
i just too worry about you...
i know i cant help out anything...
but...i do care lots bout you..
dun angry me anymore k???

useless me!!!

yesterday night i get a call...
a call from an unknown number..
tot who will call me with those num...
yuan lai is darr  darr...

noe wad he told me?
"dear, my laptop and handphone were stolen..."
"........har??"
i tot i listen it wrongly...
the fact is darr really lost his hp and laptop yesterday and he ady report to the police...
but they say will help him find but no guarantee...

haiz...i was so worry about him the whole night...
but i cant do anything else beside waiting him to call me...
i cant contact dao him...
i feel i m so useless...
when something happen to him i cant give help...

for the whole night i cant even sleep well....
i m thinking wad can i do...

this morning...for the first time i contact his house to find his dad personally...
cause everytime when i talk with his parents he will he there also...
luckily he remember to contact his dad also...
a feeling of relief start to appear in my heart...

then i ask dao benny that he is also at kampar right now...
he say he can try to help me to go find darr darr and borrow him one hp to use for this mean time...
so at least i can contact dao him...
hope benny will find dao him ler...
really appreciate that benny is willing to help...
thx ya!!^^

now i just can wait him to contact me...
hope he will be alright...
i miss him so much...

the feeling is still there

finally manage to open dao my blogspot...
really gek sam la with the line here...
suka suka it will block some of the page i want to access..

today again is sunday...
but not a lovely want cause i m overloaded with test and assignment..
chem test coming soon..i so sked dat i cant do well again..
haiz...
study study study till i wan sot liao...
wen is my holiday coming??

hmm...few days ago really not in a good mood...
perhaps the thing that i try to put down haven been put down at all...
i was just lying to myself dat i m ok and i m not sked for wad had happen previously...
till yesterday i ny noe dat yuan lai nothing have been forgotten by me..
the situation...the feeling...all are still fresh in my mind...
i m a coward...i just keep run away from the thing...
i tot dat if i dun say out and keep in my heart..nothing will remind me bout that...
the thing will be gone as i dun remember it...
i m so wrong...all this while i just dun dare to face the truth...
it really bring on big impact to me..

thx darr darr yesterday keep listening to wad i say...
all the thing i sked..my feeling...
thx for your understanding and the way u comfort me...
i feel calmer now...
maybe i cant forget the thing now...
but at least it won affect my feeling much now...
give me some time..
i will let it dissapear slowly in my life...

moody mooncake festival

真的只是有时候，莫名的心情不好，不想和任何人说话，只想一个人静静的发呆。 真的只是有时候，突然觉得心情烦躁，看什么都觉得不舒服，心里闷的发慌，拼命想寻找一个出口。 真的只是有时候，发现身边的人都不了解自己，面对着身边的人，突然觉得说不出话。 真的只是有时候，感觉自己与世界格格不入，曾经一直坚持的东西一夜间面目全非。 真的只是有时候，突然很想逃离现在的生活，想不顾一切收拾自己简单的行李去流浪。 真的只是有时候，别人突然对你说，我觉得你变了，然后自己开始百感交集。 真的只是有时候，希望时间为自己停下，就这样和喜欢的人地老天荒。 真的只是有时候，在自己脆弱的时候，想一个人躲起来，不愿别人看到自己的伤口。 真的只是有时候，突然很想哭，却难过的哭不出来。 真的只是有时候，夜深人静的时候，突然觉得寂寞深入骨髓。 真的只是有时候，明明自己心里有很多话要说，却不知道怎样表达。 真的只是有时候，觉得自己其实一无所有，仿佛被世界抛弃。 真的只是有时候，明明自己身边很多朋友，却依然觉得孤单。 真的只是有时候，很想放纵自己，希望自己彻彻底底醉一次 。 真的只是有时候，自己的梦想很多，却力不从心。 真的只是有时候，常常找不到事情，无聊的无所适从。 真的只是有时候，突然找不到自己，把自己丢了。 真的只是有时候，心里突然冒出一种厌倦的情绪，觉得自己很累很累。 真的只是有时候，看不到自己未来的样子，迷茫的不知所措。 真的只是有时候，发现自己一夜之间长大了。 真的只是有时候，听到一首老歌，就突然想起一个人。 真的只是有时候，别人误解了自己有口无心的一句话，心里郁闷的发慌。 真的只是有时候，常常在回忆里挣扎，有很多过去无法释怀。 真的只是有时候，渴望别人的关怀，渴望一份简单的快乐。 真的只是有时候，看着时间一点点流逝，自己却无能为力..............

look at this article...
feel like some of it just describing my feeling now...
i feel so down right now...

2010 d mooncake festival...
i spend the whole night alone in my room...
no feeling to go out celebrate with fren..
my 1st time to celebrate this festival like this...

i m damn not happy now...
but who will understand it?
ya...only my laptop will understand it...
cause it is the one i m facing the whole night...

not even a single person get to know my feeling now..
haiz...

life after raya holiday

2nd day in uni after the raya holiday..
again...my busy life start...
test is coming soon...
and my assignment later need present liao...

now here raining liao o...
and i 4get to bring my jaket out..
now so damn cold leh me!!!

2ml is mooncake festival leh...
but too bad cant at house celebrate with my dear family and frenss..
1st time celebrate this festival alone outside...
hmm...feel so sad!!!

miss my darr darr a...
he is at kampar o now...
starting the new semester liao...
hope to c him soon...

boring la....
kolej dere online so damn sucks leh...
at night sure cant on dao want..
sumore heard dao fren say maybe fb will b blocked liao tim...
really zadao leh...
thinking of my line in future here...
ny one word to say...CHAM!!!

haixz...sien sien sien!!!

i need to leave again

i started to pack again...
aarrgghh!!! hate doing this la...
cause it is reminding me that i m going bek to uni soon...
mean i m leaving my house liao...
back to a place that everything i need to be on myself...
dun like this feeling...

2ml i will go kl liao...
anyway..dad is fetching me there...
stop at my uncle house 1st...
then sunday morning ny get back to hostel...
hmm...quite mafan want need dad to send me back..
but too bad there is no one accompany-ing me going back and my dad is worry bout dat...
so he has to fetch me down and rush back the next day...
quite tiring for him...

thinking about uni...
hmm..my study life gonna start again...
mean there is tonnes of assignment, homework and test waiting ahead for me!!!
really no mood lo!!

one more thing i hate is need to do cleaning all over the room after i left there for 2 weeks...
can you imagine the dust all over the room...
yuckss!!!
gonna be a tiring day for me on sun...
cause beside cleaning i still need prepare myself to study again...

starting to miss darr darr liao...
cause duno when can i meet him after uni reopen...
hope it wont be too long^^

n all my frenz...
gambateh a!!! waiting for the next gathering with u all during semester break..

updating-gathering

yesterday...again i had my idiot and me gang gathering...
finally i get to see jin jin...lol..
miss her so much..
but who know she ny got one night time free to hang out with us...

went for tc yesterday...
again we take many silly pictures...
no doubt...our favourite hobby taking pictures...
really sot sot...

yesterday..so ngam..meet darr darr at tc also...
he was there with his fren...
so funny...
i m walking table from table to chat with his frenz...
lol...

anyway..yesterday i also jusr rushed back from kl...
went to kl cause my uncle having house warming at his new apartment...
damn nice d design in his house...
great time chatting along with all my relatives...

not to forget...
on saturday there is some unhappy thing happen to me...
this bring about nightmare to me...
and it will always fresh in my mind i think...
but i will try to be optimistic...

hmm...there is few more days left for me to be at house...
gonna appreciate this few days...
cause i gonna miss here again when i go back kl...

waiting for another gathering also!!!^^

steamboat+sing k

hmm..yesterday really have a great time...
cause i met with fren that i din c them for a long time liao...
chee siang and wan lin...
really din c them much after i finish my stpm...
miss them so much...

anyway...
yesterday we had a great time..
going for steamboat session and sing k session...
at 1st we planned to go beserah for steamboat..
how noe they din open..
so we changed to taste cafe again..
haha..
eat til so ful leh us...
cant even finish wad we take..
but we having a great chatting time also during the dinner...

then we changed second place..
went for sing k...
at the new karaoke centre...
new century...
hmm..the place there is so damn big leh..
even the small room nia can accomodate more than 10 i think...
but the price is kinda expensive as the song there is quite old lu...
long time din sing k liao me...
sing til so enjoy leh..
think wanna go again before i go back...

then finally the photo session...
haha...take many photo yesterday i think..
by professional photographer- chee siang...
wait for the upload of those pic o!!!^^

miss the other fren also..
hope to miss them before i back to upm o!!!^^

outing with darr darr

hmm...feel so happy today..
cause i got out wit darr darr today...
long time din c him face to face liao...
cause both of us also so busy during study week...

now finally c dao him liao...
darr darr seem to be more thin liao..
not just i say..even his mum also nag him bout that...
hmm...c dao also sam tong...
hope he can gain back his weight during this holiday lu...

today go for movie with him...
watched piranha..
indeed it was a nice movie..
but it was just too short...
seem like din get dao the point of the movie after watching it...
heard sis say maybe being cut liao..
duno lu...

then after movie..
we went for lunch at kenny rogger...
hmm..i keep on put thing give him eat leh...
wan let him fat back..haha

anyway...i  get a couple cup from darr darr as present leh...
hmm...so happy...

the cup is fully glass wan o...
not she de to use it cause very nice...
and i sked i will break it too...
maybe just will take and put it dere as decoration lu...
let me c dao d cup jiu like c dao darr darr lidat...

hmm...hope for the next outings with darr darr during this holiday o!!^^

assignment in progress

darr darr is on the way back to ktn now...
hmm...so happy cause finally he wont be far far from me liao...
i miss him so much...
cant wait to spend my time with him!!!^^

anyway...
now i m in my progress of doing my titas assignment...
my title this time is about the peranakan india which is known as Chitty and found in Melacca...
wish i can finish it by 2ml..
so that the time left over i can enjoy my holiday well...
as more and more ppl are coming back for their holiday also...

the 1st outing i gonna do i think is on this wednesday ba..
ady booked ticket for piranha...
hmm..going with darr darr and sis...
sumore still got my cousin and maybe lum and his gf gua...
hmm...see-ing the trailer seem like so nice the movie...
gonna have a look on it definitely...

coming activity are still planning..
cause it seem quite difficult to follow all ppl d time...
as all of us are studying in different places...
do hope the time can be suit to the majority la..

not to 4get...
i got kinda miss my uni life and my fren in uni...
cz most of time i m hanging around with u all wen i m in uni...
waiting to go back to c wad u all bring for me!!^^ haha

lastly..hope to c most of my frenz during this holiday la...
cause damn long din hang out with u all liao...
and after this holiday i think need till our sem break ny can meet again liao...

hopefully!!!

home sweet home

finally after one month away from hauz...
i m now on9-ing at my home sweet home...
the feeling is so good...
cause i miss here so much...

this time i will spend bout 2 weeks here before i get myself back to upm again...
hmm...this time sure gonna meet my darr darr and all my dear frenz here...
we have been separated for so long leh...
miss the time we were hanging out 2gether....

this holiday seem to be a busy holiday for me...
cause i still got assignment to settle...
and i have tonnes of notes to read for my test 2 which is coming soon after this holiday....
sumore..i still have to spend my time to go out with everyone i miss so much!!
hmm..cause after this maybe we nid wait till semester break ny can meet liao...

wish everyone have a good time in this holiday o...
and my dear coursemates...i miss u all o...c ya!!^^

being cheated again

too bad...my kolej line cant let me on9 again whenever i m free...
so now...have to on9 in the library again...

after 2ml d class then i can again be in my sweet sweet home liao...
feel so happy...cause can pause the suffering life here..

yesterday..have a meeting about our kolej want..
saying that we nid to move back to our actual kolej after this raya holiday...
wah...very guo fen lo...
cause is without any renovation done want le....
feel like being cheated again...

when the first day we came...
they told us that our actual kolej is renovating...
we need to tumpang at ppl place for one semester...
ok..we accept it...
then now without any renovation ask us to move back again...
what the!!!
tot all of us are so free meh...
one semester havent finish dy nid move again..
then later when they want to renovate we need to move out again...
really feel so damn unlucky la..
y ppl can get such nice kolej but we nid to move here and there!!!


finally the decision for the meeting is all of us strongly stand that we dont want to move back after raya...
we will only move back there by next semester...

hope that time they will at least do some improvement to our kolej la...
if not i really duno how i should stay inside...

anyway...i m going home 2ml..
miss all my friends so much leh...
hope can meet all of them...

hmm..i also miss darr darr very much...
hmm..but he will only be back in ktn by 6th sept..
want to meet him so so so much!!!
cant wait liao @.@

national day

national day...
suppose as known for all is a public holiday..
but i still got class on 5pm!!!
ewww...hate it la...originally i can go out and play want..
now no more!!!

i think i should go out and relax myself...
this few day  i really not in good condition...
even u talk a joke in front of me...
i cant laugh out from my heart...
seem that no one know ba...

maybe is just my fault that i cant fulfill all the way you want...
i m really sorry...

tears follow me into my sleep recently...
really duno wad will come out after this if all my tears dry up..
every morning wake up...look into the mirror..
i will frighten myself by my face...
i m totally down...


sleepless night...countless tears...
i wonder how long can i stand anymore??


i want to back ktn...
cause i can see you there...
i miss you so much..
i miss every single things of you...
i wish now you r just beside me...
comforting me...
i need you every single second...

how i wish that till i can dream about it when i sleep...
how i wish that till halfway in my work i will imagine about it...
how i wish...

food tech course night 2010

sunday 29/8/10...
my first food tech course night in upm...

before the night...
all of us juniors have been spending our free time to practice and preparing for the night..
2 performance- dance and drama...

on that day morning..
we get up early morning to start dressing up ourself..
cause we need to go there early to play some games with 2nd year seniors...
have fun cause finally have a chance to work together to win a session...

anyway...i m here to thx my dear frens...eva and ing poh that help me to make up and style my hair...
u guys are so pro!!!
love u guys...muackzzzz...

that night...
performance goes on well...
but our dance is out of tune with the music in the beginning...
too bad...but it ended well....
an applause goes to the drama team...
cause they really done a good job...
their scene makes all the seniors entertained...
well done all of you....
BSTM 1st year juniors are the best!!!
gambateh for next year course night...

not to forget...
our course king and queen...
ang and kam chen...
congratss ya^^

the food that night were so nice...
although is not wad luxurious food...they are much more better than the food inside uni...
maybe is just too hungry..i think all of us eat damn much....

anyway...
photos will be uploaded soon when i back kuantan for my raya holidays...
countdown-ing...there is 3 more days to go...
hooray!!!
stay tuned...

tiring weekend

look back at my blog list...
wow...this month i think i update very few of my news la...
really very sorry...
cause really damn busy...
after assignment then comes exam then now course night somemore...
really make me head big liao...
kesian..

today is a public holiday...
many of them can go out play or even go home...
but me and my fren wad also cant do cause need to practice for my course night...
so cham that all of us practice till now everyone have difficulty of walking especially when going up and down the stairs...

hope everyone enjoy their weekend lu...
and happy birthday to my dear jin jin...
she is officially 20 today...
cant celebrate with her today...
hope you enjoy the day!!!^^

stressful

although exam had finished 3 days ago...
till now i still dun really have a chance to rest myself...
sigh for myself..

this two days i m mostly busy of the yinzi which i m one of the ajk for the event..
tonight it will be the real event..
hope all the best to everyone in the event and the event can go on smoothly..

secondly...
my course night is coming soon on this sunday...
m also stress badly cause our performance still cant go on well..
this few night gonna spent sleepless night to practice for it..
if not i really duno wad to perform out when we are on stage..
gambateh everyone!!!
i know we can do it...

one more thing...
my report...is like stack until duno how high liao...
yesterday just stay till midnight to settle one of it...
now i still have one more to go...
this semester i only got 2 lab...
also suffer till like this liao..
i really cant imagine how i can stand for those coming semester...
cause just for second semester nia i dy will have 5 lab!!!
OMG!!!
haiz...too late to regret that i m choosing this course dy i think...

anyway...my darr darr is now so sad...
i duno how to help him T.T
i feel i m so useless la..

now i m just going to cry alone myself where no one will know..
wish i can just dissapear from the world now...

sleepy but cant sleep

just finish my pertanian exam..hmm...
not bad and not good...
the prof just give us 20 obj quez...
but mostly come out those statistic want...
gosh...i din even go memorize it purposely leh...
just folow my feel to ans nia...
hmm...really nid to wish good luck to myself liao!!!

cause of exam then can go out so early and on9 now...
but i m damn sleepy right now leh...
cause ytd have a nice time chatting with my senior..
both of us are from ktn..
so exchanging about information in ktn...
haha...till i forget time i need to sleep liao...

the sad thing is i cant go bek to my room to sleep after my physic class...
cause i got a meeting about yin zi...
hmm...i m currently the committee member for the yin zi presentation day...
m as the location and transport group...
next week will be the new even so now have to really start prepared liao..

anyway...this week cant play liao..
cause i still got 3 more papers to go on this sun..
which is the paper i hate the most..
kenegaraan, titas and hubungan etnik...
all are like sejarah like that...
then after exam i need to prepare for yinzi and my course nite liao...
even nid to dance in course nite leh...
sked leh!!!

not to forget...currently i m at faculty...
so i get the chance to update my blog..
cause wen at room sometime it cant open my blog..
so my update will be lesser now...
but must stay tuned o!!!

18/8/2010 - worst day

hate!!! i m so damn moodless now...
and the rain now make me even down...
hate today!!!
18/8/2010....

today is the worst day i ever had...
i wanna cry but i cant get the tears out of my eyes...
duno y...mayb just because i m at outside but not my house...
cant really let myself released all the sadness..

sometime i really duno who i really is...
till i can be treated like this by ppl...

i stay till late midnight just because of you...
just to help you settle your thing...
although i have class early morning the next day...
because is you...i sacrifice for you...

but the next day...because some problem...
i being scolded and ignored by you...
confused...
who m i to you actually??
do i really so important for you till i being treated like that??

my whole day mood gone...
plus is raining now..
is just like my feeling...
crying in my heart...
no one will know cause i din let anyone to know it..

really...i feel i m so stupid on that moment...
for what i do so many thing to exchange for the treatment i get now???

i hate!!!hate this feeling!!!

really very sad...

angry!!! frustrated!!!

it has been so many days i din update my blog...
cause i m super-busy and my blogspot cant open recently due to line problem at here...

today finally i can come up to here and write my feeling...
haiz...i m so damn bu shuang leh...
keep in my heart for so many days liao...

first of all...
my kenegaraan presentation...
the prof din even mentioned our group that going present on this week...
then my groupmate was not sure wen we going to present...
so they go and ask him to confirm...
noe wad prof say???
he say u all are going to present this week...
be prepared!!
i was like...wad the F!!!
tell us at this last minutes to do a 15 minutes slides for him and must fulfill his requirement...
how we are going to do??
really hate him la...din teach at all in class then still yao qiu high2...
arrgghhh!!!

secondly...
my chem presentation...whr ady be informed to be this week...
those damn groupmates!!! say they ady prepared then evytime we got discussion they say cnt turned up...
wad the hell!!! seem like she is the only one that got something else to busy...no commitment at all!!!
finally...today...wen she gave the info to me...i was totally zadao by her...
noe wad she find??? organic chem leh...as we are studying physical and inorganic chem this sem...for wad she find organic chem give me...sumore is under the topic of biology tim!!!!i really damn bu shuang lo...
then wen i tell her..she say the topic i supposed to say u all ady take it mar..i ntg ma talk this lo!!!
sorry lo..this time i really beh tahan liao...evytime discussion she dunwant come then now complaint us...
nvm..i dun kira so much with her now...so i do it with my fren till just now...
finally i gao dim it...msg them to say make a meeting 2ml to divide wad to say for evyone...
this time she say...erm..maybe i will come la..cz i got other meeting o...
fucking!!!! i m damn frustrated liao...if 2ml she din turn up..then i going to tell my prof!!!!
din see such type ppl before leh...want marks nia...wad also din do dao...even i gao dim for her liao ask her come and i tell her wad to say she also giving excuses!!!!! go die la!!!

i m so damn bu shuang now...even both me and my fren do till evynite till midnight leh...
then no enuf sleep also...panda eyes and headache liao leh!!!
btr next time dun let me meet them or same grp with them...
once is ady damn enuf for me...
hate!!!

life going to be in august..

august liao...
is the most busy month for us i think...
many program coming soon...

firstly, next week and the following week gonna be the exam week...
my 1st paper is general physic...
oh gosh...the subject which i unlike the most but i need to study for it now...
so trying to like it..
besides that...my lecturer...really give him zhadao...teach like tortise lidat...
wonder wether he can finish on time not...

study study study!!!!
wish me luck for exam ba^^

dunwant talk bout it liao...

let talk bout other...
hmm...my presentation...
all of them are queuing and waiting for me now...
damn...6 assignment leh...
that y till now i still stuck inside the library and cant go back to room..
cause later got discussion...
haiz...

somemore...my course night is coming also liao...
on the end of august...
being the 1st year junior so cham...
need give ppl play somemore need perforamance for the senior and also make souvenir to those senior...
rushing time now to practice and my performance is dancing...
cham lu...cause dancing modern dance a!!!
have to learn some more...
so many step to remember...
cham!!!

one more activity coming on august is yin zi d music event...
hmm...i m one of the ajk o...
this time i join the traffic grp...
haha..cause din experience before their job...
gonna be so fun even i m just thinking of it now...
hoping for it^^

hmm...darr darr now at night also got work o...
so i cant have fon talk with him er...
jut can msg with him nia...
 miss his voice so much...
hope he can faster end his work er...
dun wish him to be so busy and tired!!!

i think i merungut too much at here liao...
haha...
but just many things that i wan to say

finally i m back...

finally i m home...
home sweet home....
miss it so much la...
feel so relax right now rather than those hectic life at upm...

this morning when i wake...
hmm...wen open eyes i c dao a view that is so used to me...
feel so xin fu leh...
love the feeling so much...
cause that is the ceiling that i used to c for my past 20 years...

although come back is quite mafan la...
cause need go for ktm at serdang where it was so damn pack...
till i feel like myself just like sardines...
then need to change to lrt and finally get the bus ticket to back ktn...
so rushing and the moment wen i get on the bus to ktn..
i m so relief...cause i m finally on the way home...

nxt time i going to come back maybe on the sept holiday liao...
cause during aug..i will be kinda busy cause many activity involving me need to start preparation liao...
sumore my first test also during aug...
so cant back ktn liao...

anyway...i think i will be going back 2ml night...
cause if on mon morning it will be quite rush for me...
depend la...
now i think i have to settle all my report 1st...
and my chem presentation...
later going out to settle and buy some of my things...

btw...i uploaded many pictures bout my life during this past 1 month wen i m at upm...
can go view there...

till then..