when the 'if' become the 'truth'

today d feeling...down!!!

cause i saw something that i dont want to see...
suddenly all my good mood gone...

sometime i will wonder...
but i dont dare to let myself keep think about it...
i just try to run away from all the things that i dont want it to happen...

maybe the way i did was just lying myself...
to let myself feel better...
i dont want to take note about too much things that i din see..
but did it really will not happen as what i want???
i hope so but the truth wasnt like that...

i m totally sick now...
everything...every part of me...
even you bring me for doctor...
he will just cure a little part..

suddenly feel that...y i stop myself from thinking so much...
y i just let the thing i should have just flow away...

now...i let my right ran away...
what i can do just regret and sad...
because the 'if' had become the 'truth'!!!

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yesterday talk on fon with mum...
mum told me that 1 of my uncle had passed away on monday...
hmm...as i can remember before i came upm...
he is ady in hospital a very long time...
fighting for life...
such long that he has go...i tought he can get thru it...
but reality is that cruel...
they take him away also finally...
just left over the dead body for us...

life is so uncertain...
may my uncle rest in peace...